Thursday, November 20, 2008

He Am Legend

As is my work day routine, my alarm went off at 6:35am and I jumped out of bed to check for any available jobs on the Substitute Machine Website. The pickens were slim, so I got back in bed and told myself not to fall asleep.

I fell asleep. But not for too long and was back on the Sub Machine Website by 6:55. Still nothing great. The fact that the new substitute system lets me see a list of available jobs all at once, as opposed to listening to them one at a time over the phone, has enabled my selectivity to reach an all time high. The result is that I now work almost exclusive at either Gateway, McKinley or Metro. I rarely, if ever feel compeled to work at schools I like less. But this morning none of my favorites had any need for my services.

I don't know why, but I decided not to just go back to bed. Instead took a Gym teacher job at Central Visual and Performing Arts High School. The way I see it, Gym teacher jobs can't be all bad because in gym, unlike any other class, kids are allowed to run around and make tons of noise. The down side of subbing for gym teachers is that there is rarely any place comfortable to sit and there is no access to the internet.

When I got to the main office at Central the woman in charge of dealing with substitutes gave me Mr. Mitchum's class scheduale and told me that there was a school wide assembly during 2nd period.

1st period the other Gym teacher had the kids play floor hockey. 2nd Period we took attendance and escorted our classes to the auditorium.

The assembly was a concert by Mr. Davidson's guitar classes. The first group to perform was the advanced guitar class playing a jazzy instrumental number. Its was a good as could be expected from a bunch of longhaired higschool guitar students dressed in black performing in front of their entire school at 8:30am. After advanced guitar came intermediate guitar and then begining guitar. It went on for a while, and my seat seemed to get less and less comfortable. Then 2nd period was over and we were still in the auditorium. Mr. Davidson's announced that there were three more numbers and then he would be introducing a special guest. For the third and last of the promised numbers, there were 13 students simultaniously playing electric guitars or basses on stage alongside a drummer and two vocalists for a vaguely recognizable rendition of Stevie Wonder's Superstition.

When the last guitar string stopped vibrating Mr. Davidson turned the floor over to The Principal, Dr. Enright.

"Good Morning Students and Staff. This morning we have very special guest who has come a long way to see us, and who I think you are going to very much enjoy. Central, give it up for my grandmother who came all the way from Georgia in her wheel chair to be here today!"

With that hip hop music came in loud and crackily over the PA system and a group student dancers came dancing onto the stage. What happened next, I was not prepared for. The mother fucking Fresh Prince of Ber Aire came in from stage right with a microphone in his hand.

Will Smith. Really.

Needless to say, the students went bananas. Apeshit Bananas.

Then I had a long lunch, three gym classes, swipped out an went home. Another day in the life of Mr. Awesome.


Blogger Petra said...

What? Really? Why was Will Smith at a St. Louis high school? And why was he introduced as the principal's grandmother? And most importantly, what did he say? Did he too sit through the guitar concert?

7:04 PM  
Blogger colin loughlin said...

Just be thankful that the children still need an education.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

I thought Will Smith was a man?

9:20 PM  
Anonymous MelissaS said...

Central is a very artistic school and does a lot about performances and it would be good PR for Will Smith. He was in a St. Louis movie theater not too long ago when Hancock came out. The Principal was probably making a joke. Will Smith is a man.

5:42 AM  
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