Friday, September 15, 2006

Fondest Farewells.

"Students, today is a historic and important day. It is at once an end and a new begining in the miandering journey of your lives. Your three weeks of negligible effort and non-existent interest in highschool mathematics have hopefully prepared you well for the new set of responsibilities that come along with weeks 4-39 of the school year and the rest of your lives. I hope that you take away from our time together, not only the six major trigonometric ratios, or the quadratic formula, but the experiences we've shared and the friendships we've created.

Real life is different than the first three weeks of the school year. It's not about obsessing over personal responsibility, effort and success. Real life is about killing time, and finding ways to shield yourself from the spirit crushing monotony of contemporary existence. Its about playing the lottery, watching football and shoplifting. Hopefully, armed with the tool kit of knowledge accrued these last three weeks, you will be able to adjust gracefully to those challenges and responsibilites.

But never forget your youth. Never forget your sense of wonder. Never lose your ability to ignore even the most simple and begnin instructions. Never lose your ability to concoct lame outlandish excuses. Never forget what got you this far.

When the bell rings a few minutes from now that will be the sound of limitless possibility. The future is bright my friends (Pause to put on 80's style black Ray Bans) you might want to invest in some shades."

2 Comments:

Blogger Jeff P said...

That's beautiful. It's much better than the butchered Half Baked quote you were planning.

6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree. The closing has a certain 80's movie flare to it.

12:15 PM  

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